Most of us are guilty of communicating often without actually listening, taking notes, or learning from the process. And when we have no downside to our behavior, it’s impossible to change it. The excellent news is that the only downside to being more thoughtful or giving more of yourself is that you’ll grow closer to what you care about.
Communication is an essential part of maintaining and improving relationships. We communicate with our partner to share a story, relate an update, ask for feedback, offer apologies, and request help. How Often Do We Communicate? But has it been enough lately?
How Often Do We Communicate: 7 Ways
Communication is a highly effective tool in relationships. But it can quickly break down if you’re not careful.
Facial Expressions
One of the most important things to remember is that facial expressions are a big part of communication. If you’re not showing your partner how you feel, they’re likely to assume that you don’t care.
Anger, frustration, and sadness are some of the most apparent emotions people can see on your face. But many other non-verbal cues may be telling them something completely different.
Body Language
Body language is a lot more subtle than facial expressions, but it can still be very effective in communicating. It includes movements of the hands and arms, crossing or uncrossing your legs, leaning forward or back, and even the way that you sit in silence.
Tone of Voice
A lot of communication is about the tone of voice. If you’re not careful, you can communicate without even realizing it. Surprisingly, research shows that people typically speak to their partners with a more negative tone than they intend.
When you’re talking about something that’s upsetting you, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of negativity. So be aware of your tone when you talk to your partner and work to improve it.
Word Choice
The words that you choose can tell a lot about how you feel. For example, even if you’re trying to say something positive, you can use words that make your partner feel overly criticized or nitpicked. Likewise, if you want to avoid criticism, use more thoughtful and encouraging words.
Pronouns
The pronouns that you use can be a big part of communication. For example, if you’re talking about something that you both do, then you may want to use “we” or “us” instead of “I” or “me.” Likewise, if you want to take more responsibility for something, then you can say “I’m sorry” instead of “sorry about me.”
Open-ended vs. Close-ended Questions
Sometimes we communicate in a way that isn’t completely honest because we don’t want to upset our partners or make them feel uncomfortable. But this can prevent them from opening up to us. Instead, we should ask questions that give them the chance to expand on their answer.
Listening
Listening is the biggest part of communication, and it’s also the part that we often forget about. If you want to communicate more effectively, you must listen more.
Conclusion
Communication is a key part of having a healthy relationship. But if you don’t pay attention to the details, then it can also cause problems.
